How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
