i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
