Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
