so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
