porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
