So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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