The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
