I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
