Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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