Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
