My hand turned me down
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
