We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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