kristin has been a bad kristin
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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