we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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