The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
