OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize