I look better un-naked...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
