Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
