that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
