So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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