What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
