Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
