I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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