its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
