He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
