Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
