Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
