I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
