I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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