my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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