Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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