k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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