it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
