Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
