and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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