do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
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