just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
