Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
