Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I smell stomach acid.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
