office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
third nipple confirmed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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