so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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