So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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