That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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