i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
