Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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