Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
