i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
please come you make the beer taste better
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
