I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
NoShamevember. You game?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
