high people should be assigned attendants
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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