Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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