Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
