3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
